Monday, February 21, 2011

I Can’t Trust God…!

say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear;

(Isaiah 35:4, NIV)


The morning buzzed off with excitement as the family headed for a trip to a nature spot in the little quiet town of Taiping. Anything to do with water is always a fabulous idea for the children. Our company trekked through the woods. We hiked up and down the rocky path while brushing off the tree branches from our way. The adventure thrill increased when someone spotted leeches. Everyone was alerted to beware of that little bloodsucker. I was praying that my little ones would be spared.Soon our feet touched the cool clear waters. The sound of music from the gushing waters was melodious and sweet. It never fails to capture our attention and captivate our senses. There were still some tricky paths before we got to the spot we could call upon for the day’s fun. While Ed and some friends continued to explore further up stream, the rest of us gathered at this really cool point where there was a huge flat rocky spot to sit right in the middle of the stream while water gushed through a slope forming a natural water slide; and a mini pool just in front of the sitting point. It was simply ideal for all – those who just wanted to sit around and watch, for those who couldn’t wait to jump into the inviting waters, some who were so ready to entertain us by their silliness and humor.

While all the excitement was going on, my little girl hung on to me which was not a norm. She was too fearful to do anything in case she meets that little bloodsucker everyone was alerting earlier. My means of reassuring her couldn’t convince her that she would be safe. She crouched by me with her arms tightly locked with mine. Everyone attempted to lure her out her “safe” spot. After all, she is always the one who was looking out for fun and full of faith. What fun was it to sit by mummy and sulk over nothing! So I prayed with her that God would take care of everything. No encounter with leeches. Finally, she overcame her fear and was about to arise to join the fun, I spotted a black thing crept on her inner thigh. “Wait, let me see…” I pulled on her and stretched her limb to investigate. Our worst fear of the day became a reality. Leech! Yes, that little most dreadful creature gripped tight on her little thigh while she panicked. I was dumbfounded for a moment as I was confident God heard this mummy’s prayer just a moment ago. How could he allow this??

That shocked girl was all whines and fuss after the leech finally dropped off. “I can’t trust God with leeches!” she protested loudly. I tried to maintain my spirituality and explained to my best that it was all over. Nothing I said was worth anything then. After all, God didn’t answer our prayer. I fumbled through my words and said, “But you always trust God…” Still upset, she replied, “I can trust him with other things but not leeches!” There were no right words to neither console her nor defend God (if God needed any sort of defending). It took a long while before she struggled through her emotion and joined the rest. The whole day I was left with my own struggles with God as my mind had been going through various issues of trusting God.

At bedtime, we raised the question of trusting God again. Her older sister calmly said, “Perhaps God wanted you to overcome the fear of leeches.” She was silent. It was a sign of acceptance. Otherwise the debate would proceed. Yes, many times we expect God to deliver just the way we expected. For this case, it did seem he didn’t care nor heard our prayers. The truth is I believe it has caused the little girl to know that she is still safe and being guarded. It is no big deal. A bit of blood wasted. There was no pain.

The incidence has left a mark on me. God’s answer may not be to my specific expectation but he surely watches over us while training us to be more courageous. I spoke to my own fearful heart to be strong and do not fear.

Are you struggling with some sort of fear(s)?
Take heart. The Lord is near and will deliver you out of your fear but most often than not, he will allow us to confront it and then conquer it.

Heavenly Father, watch over me and strengthen me as I face my fear(s). Let God arise in my heart for I am more than a conquerer in Christ. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Leave a comment if this post speaks to you. I would like to pray for you.

2 comments:

  1. Just wanted to share how your post spoke to me.

    First thing was being able to identify with the fear of leeches - I was very reluctant to goh on my 1st mission trip in 1998 for that sole reason till I asked God if He wanted me to, which He replied with Hebrews 12:4 - In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. I remember being thinking man, He went all out to shed his blood & die for me and I'm not even willing to trek through the jungle at the risk of losing just a pinch of my own blood for him. So I went and it was one of those milestone events in my life.

    The other thing is that I've been struggling with quite a number of fears recently as I think about taking up a Masters degree in Curatorial Studies and being away for a whole year during the course. So your post reminded me to take courage and trust that He's watching over me and all that I hold dear.

    Thanks Selina. =)

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  2. Thanks CE for sharing your thots. Will definitely keep you in prayer. I am sure it will be exciting :)

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