Friday, January 28, 2011

I Need Just A Little Bit More

It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

Psalm 18:32-34, NIV

As I watched my husband boarded for his flight 9 days ago, my mind hit the fast speed button to process all that needs to be done while he was away. The list was obviously endless and overwhelming. I spoke to my mind to stay in control and kept whispering to God to help me hold them all in good composure and spirit. The last thing I want was to see in the mirror an ugly grumpy woman. I wanted God to show up in every stop as I press the accelerator pedal of my week. Although I couldn’t envision the sight of rest stops along the week I knew it was crucial to pull up by the side to look up and find help. Indeed I did.

They mount up as the days took every turn. Every night I prayed it would be a better day the next. Did it get any better? Unfortunately, not. In those disrupting, disturbing and distracting moments God breathed his portion of joy and peace over me. I pleaded to God to make it easier but he didn’t seem to be bothered of the intensity I was undergoing. Oh well, I couldn’t deny the evidence of his presence even though he didn’t answer my pleas.

The long exhaustive Psalm 18 has always been my inspiration to press on knowing that God is my sure help and promise of victory. Surely he will “arm me with strength” again and “train my hands for battle.” Certainly he will empower me to run and stand where I need to be. The small battles of everyday life are the best training ground for God to use to mould and make me to be the woman he wants me to be. I only need to be a willing vessel. Was it fun? Totally not! If I had a choice, I would drive off a different route last week. Not on this narrow highway.

Except for that little part of me which chose to escape the refining fire, the rest of me agreed to stay and watch him fill me with the strength he promised. I joked in the midst of all my stress and pain that people should see me in this mess and they would know I am not a superwoman at all. At that point, my daughter made a simple yet very comforting remark, “But, mum, they can still see your smile.” In that brief moment, I recognized God had given me that little bit more to carry on. After all, I just need a little bit more. My spiritual arms and legs’ muscles are toned as I endured the training. They will be more prepared to handle the heavier weights and bigger challenges of this season.

How are your spiritual muscles? Are they toned and supple?
Or are they in spiritual atrophy?Which route are you driving in life? The easy way out or the ancient narrow path?
Can I invite you to allow and trust God for a spiritual toning and endurance test? Right at the place where you are now. The aching muscles may seem unbearable but remember God’s promises and you’ll be tried and trained for his purposes.

Heavenly Father, grant me the strength for today to do what fulfils your plan and let me arise for a greater cause. In Jesus’ name. Amen.