Monday, February 23, 2009


Dear friends,

I am so sorry I can't publish my thoughts today and perhaps for the next few days. Time doesn't permit me to do so as I care for my children who are sick. I will be back a.s.a.p. once I can get a breather :)

Meanwhile, you have a good week!
God bless!!

Monday, February 16, 2009

There Must Be More Than This

"Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always." (Psalm 105:4, NIV)

The word, "seek" has been in my mind for many weeks. Even the guest speaker in church last week touched on it. Have I not sought him enough? My persistent thought is, “There must be more than this!”

There are continuous debates in my mind pertaining different issues faced.
Unanswered prayers.
Unsettled spirit.
It is a nagging longing.

“Oh God, there must be more than this!”

I heard a voice whispered to my spirit, “Haven’t I showed you this before?”

Four years ago, I read Psalm 105 on the way to my family holiday in Pulau Tioman. I felt as though God was clearly telling me in such a loud voice then, "Look at me, seek me. Receive my strength".

The whole long journey I was asking the same question - "What does it mean to seek You, God?" "Am I not seeking You now?" "Teach me." That was my prayer all the time pleading God in His grace to show me the deep meaning of seeking him.

The best and most enjoyable activity we did as a family during that holiday was snorkeling. The cool amazingly beautiful sea was so inviting that even Ashlynn and Nathalynn were so captivated by the wonders of God's creation. The first four verses we read in Psalm 105 (please read) became alive. We have every reason to "sing to him, and tell of his wonderful acts". We could not stay long on the boat admiring the fishes swimming in the clear waters. The natural instinct was to just jump in and be in it. Nathalynn was very apprehensive being her first time coupled with her reserved personality. I could understand the fear. It must be real because the sea was deep and the experience was totally unknown to her. However, with a little encouragement and assuring help from her daddy, she was soon lost in desiring for more. At every stop at the different bay and island, she jumped into the sea boldly to explore the vast waters all by herself. She was an adventurous 6 year-old.

On a personal note, I was engrossed in the waters too. What I saw on the surface from the boat was nothing in comparison from the experience looking into the deep. Who can comprehend the artistic colours that God chose and painted the depth of the waters? The numerous species of marine life were swimming with such grace. As I snorkeled, I noticed interesting species would make their appearances from the deeper ends of the waters. When I stopped to ask negative questions like, “What IFs?" - "what if my life jacket gave way?", "what if some unpredictable disaster happened?” Such moments hinder my explorations. When I abandoned myself in the experience totally and continued to swim around with the fishes, the desire to want to see more and more increased because the experience was immensely satisfying and beyond words. Nathalynn and I were "seeking" for MORE. The excitement in us increased with every finding. Thus, we just couldn't have enough! We were lost in wanting more of the depth. I was conversing with the Maker all the time - thanking and praising him for every creature his hands had made. In a gentle voice, he spoke to my spirit..."This is seeking for me". The experience will cause you to ask for MORE. In it, you will be thrilled by my beauty, be satisfied by my work. It is an unending journey because your desire will increase with every finding; and you will be drawn with such deep longing.” My spirit was enlightened instantly as the Lord answered my nagging questions on seeking. The journey was also accompanied by his strength. Snorkeling the whole day was tiring but we wouldn’t settle for less. The desire for more drowned our tiredness as we received new strength in every location.

Perhaps some of you are in the same state, or perhaps some find seeking God such a chore, or difficult or boring. Some may be asking for more but doesn't seem to get it. Could it be the Lord is testing how much we desire in the seeking? How deep is our longing? Have we abandoned ourselves in him totally, or are we standing on the "boat" for some reasons? Could it be some of us have passed our spiritual snorkeling season? It is time for diving in the deep sea. An open dive!

"Almighty God, I acknowledge my lack of trust in seeking YOU. I need YOU to teach me in this journey of seeking. Lord, show me deep insights and incredible findings as I long for more of YOU. Give me strength to wait upon YOU. Cause such a deep longing within me that will move me to keep asking for more without giving up. I love YOU, Beautiful God. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."

Monday, February 9, 2009

The Lover of My Soul

Chap Goh Meh/Valentine's Day Thoughts...

My mind runs through the women I have met throughout the week. Women walking in various seasons of life. Different ages. Different life passages. They are all across the spectrum. My heart beat faster as I thought and prayed for each of them...

...She sat beside him at the ICU bed. Head dived next to his. Only whispers of desperation heard. Her dying husband diagnosed with brain tumour thriving on ventilator support. They only shared two years' of marriage. She was a young bride and now a highly potential widow.

...She is caring for her terminally ill husband and raising her growing children. I could see and sense her determination to be strong for her family as we talked.

...She was widowed while pregnant with her firstborn. Her husband died in a motor vehicle accident. Now the child is 2. Today, another burden is added on her shoulder. She cares for her aging mum diagnosed with cancer, dressing her wound daily.

...She dripped the eye-drops into her husband's operated eye for cataract. The brief exchange of look and touch of this 2 hourly routine speaks of their committed love over four decades.

...She is happily married. Awaiting her firstborn's arrival. Anticipating the joy of motherhood. Her husband adores her.

...She is elated. She just sealed the deal. The ring is on her finger. He proposed!

...She is ready. Seeking for a life partner. Wondering when she will meet the God-sent guy. Perhaps the man isn't ready, we joked!

...They are supposedly in the normal rhythm. Many young mums desiring to give their best to raise the young.Some pursuing their dreams as they stepped into the working force. One ready for baptism. The other searching for answers of who God is. My preteens maturing in feminity. My kindergarthener with endless questions.

As my prayers go forth for these girls and women of my life, the reservoir of my heart ruptured with a gush of tears. This world is screaming for purpose and compassion.

Overwhelming for a week's encounter.

As the Lunar New Year comes to the end of its fifteen day's celebration, I am reminded of the classic teaser of urging young maidens to throw mandarin oranges into the sea. The Chinese saying, "tim kam chua hoe ang" (throw mandarin oranges to marry good husband) always make us giggle and poke fun at each other. Many of us always think its a foolish thing to do. Definitely more worthwhile to throw oranges into our mouths to quench our thirst, and satisfy our tastebuds! Of course, it was a good excuse for young maidens to go out in the old era. But, for modern urban girls, we absolutely don't need Chap Goh Meh to be an excuse to go out anymore.

Having said that, every human heart still longs for intimate love. All girls desire to marry a good husband though not by throwing juicy fruit into the sea. What a futile effort! As we close the Lunar New Year, another special day will hit the commercial world. The demand of flowers and all sorts of lovely gifts call for the attention of lovers. Valentine's Day is just five days away. Perhaps the economic downturn will affect the celebration this year in a certain degree. Nevertheless, there will still be some trumpeting of the "love is in the air" note.

The Bible is filled with pages of love notes from the Eternal Lover to each of us. We, the female gender shares one common need - a deep emotional intimacy.

From the youngest child to the golden age...
From the happy to the hurting...
no one loves us more than he who lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13). No greater love than this!

His love is more delightful than wine (Song of Songs 1:2). Wine is a symbol of celebration. Wine has healing properties. God's love is far greater than this!! Yes, we need to celebrate Him. He rejoices with us in good days. Yet, His love heals and soothes the pain of the harsh weather of life. Women - young and old...we need to find our way into the bridal chamber and experience divine romance with our Lord, the Lover of our Soul. Our security. Our song. Our salvation. Let us take delight, adore and long after him - "Take me away with you - let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers." (Song of Songs 1:4)

Throughout the ages, his invitation is, "Come!" The delightful longing and adoring affection displayed by the maiden in Song of Songs and the hastening call in Rev.22:17 of the bride give an imagery of that deep longing. The Divine Groom is ever ready and awaiting for each of us. Will you come...into the bridal chamber?


You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
I will be found by you, declares the Lord

Jer.29:13-14 (NIV)

God's promise of hope and prosperity in Jer.29:11 require our action to respond to his invitation to commune with him in verse 12. This week we look further to the following verses 13 and 14. The CONDITION that attached to the action is not just "come and pray to him" but it must come with an earnest search. A seeking heart never stops at mediocrity nor gives up when days get tough. It demands our all. A seeking heart continues to look and search.....and the promising RESULT is we will find him.

Seeking God is a continous effort compelled by love and adoration. It is an endless quest. One that is full of aniticipation and excitement because there is no end in knowing him.

I am reminded of the classic childhood game of hide and seek. Every young child loves to play hide and seek. Anytime my children will jump up when we give this suggestion. It never fails to bring loads of thrill and joy. Oh, they will earnestly look for daddy or mummy. They will diligently look and look till they find daddy or mummy. When they do, they feel so proud and joyful. There are times daddy or mummy is hidden in spots too difficult to be located by the young although daddy or mummy can see the frantic search of the young from our secret hiding place. Daddy or mummy cannot bear to hide too long. We eventually will jump out and exclaimed, "Surprise?!"

This illustration is limited but it gives a glimpse of Jer.29:13-14 for God is waiting to reveal himself to us if our desire in finding him is deep. He will never fail to respond to our deep longing for him. He will certainly amaze us with surprises. Know that God's intention is to bless and prosper us, so let us not hesitate to come to him and look for him earnestly.....for he will not disappoint his children.

How desperate are we in wanting to see him, know him and discover more of him daily?
There are many things we search for in life. Does your quest include him?

May the Lord blesses all of you abundantly in your search for him.

Precious Father, there is a deep longing in me that only You can fill. How my soul yearns for You! Do not hide Your face from me, answer me. Quicken my spirit to know You, hear You, feel You and obey You. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

He is Just a Call Away

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

Jeremiah 29:12 (NIV)

The declaration of the Lord in Jeremiah 29:11 in our previous post, "God of Prosperity" is followed by subsequent verses which are as important and hold the key to the fulfillment of that promise. For many years as a young believer, I would hear this promise been quoted repeatedly. However, many occasion the subsequent verses were never mentioned. One day as I read the passage again, the following verses 12-14 gripped my heart. This promise comes with a requirement - an ACTION from our part. The only way to know the true success in life is to CALL upon God. The urgency must arise within our spirit to go and approach God; talk to him and his promise is he will LISTEN to us. So many of us complain God doesn't care, doesn't listen, life is so aimless. Question - have we talk to him enough? Listen enough? Then act on it.

In my schooling years, I walked into my house after school daily with the same ritual. Before I even bathed, I would sit beside my mum who worked on her pieces at the sewing machine. My ever patient mum would silently listened to my joy and pain of growing up. She rejoiced with me when I was happy and empathized with me in my challenges. In between my long talk, she would throw in wise counsel, usually only a few words but full of wisdom. Some days I would enter the room without saying anything. Mum would ask without fail, “Don’t you have anything to tell me?” She’s mum! She knows her child well. These are days when I was too tired to talk, too hurt to bring it up or found it too silly to share.

Throughout the past week, the word which brewed in my mind was “seek”. I persistently asked God for a deeper meaning of the word. I found my conversation with the Lord in my old journal pertaining to this very scripture, Jeremiah 29:12 and seeking him.

Cease complaining,
come and converse with the Creator;
cultivate confidence and courage!

His encouragement is just simply to stop fretting and complaining. His invitation is "come" - call me, converse with me for I am your Maker. I received my confidence and renewal of courage as a growing child as I talked to mum. We will find as we talk to God constantly, we are cultivating confidence and courage that we never knew we possess.

Just as my mum waited to hear from her eager child’s daily reports, God longs to hear from us all the time too. I am blessed to have a mum who was always ready to listen to me shout my joy as well as ventilate my frustration. We are certainly blessed with an amazing God who is always listening and always understanding. Perhaps for many of us, God is pursuing us like my mum did to me, “Don’t you have anything to tell me?” Do we have anything to come before Him today and pray. He promises – He will listen.

She's mum and knows me well.
He's our Father and knows us full well (Psalm 139).

"My Good Lord, I thank You for the invitation to come and converse with You. How blessed am I. I renew my pledge to You today to call upon You daily and all the time. As I do that, I long to hear You speak to me the secrets of Your heart. In Jesus' name. Amen."