There Must Be More Than This

"Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always." (Psalm 105:4, NIV)

The word, "seek" has been in my mind for many weeks. Even the guest speaker in church last week touched on it. Have I not sought him enough? My persistent thought is, “There must be more than this!”

There are continuous debates in my mind pertaining different issues faced.
Unanswered prayers.
Unsettled spirit.
It is a nagging longing.

“Oh God, there must be more than this!”

I heard a voice whispered to my spirit, “Haven’t I showed you this before?”

Four years ago, I read Psalm 105 on the way to my family holiday in Pulau Tioman. I felt as though God was clearly telling me in such a loud voice then, "Look at me, seek me. Receive my strength".

The whole long journey I was asking the same question - "What does it mean to seek You, God?" "Am I not seeking You now?" "Teach me." That was my prayer all the time pleading God in His grace to show me the deep meaning of seeking him.

The best and most enjoyable activity we did as a family during that holiday was snorkeling. The cool amazingly beautiful sea was so inviting that even Ashlynn and Nathalynn were so captivated by the wonders of God's creation. The first four verses we read in Psalm 105 (please read) became alive. We have every reason to "sing to him, and tell of his wonderful acts". We could not stay long on the boat admiring the fishes swimming in the clear waters. The natural instinct was to just jump in and be in it. Nathalynn was very apprehensive being her first time coupled with her reserved personality. I could understand the fear. It must be real because the sea was deep and the experience was totally unknown to her. However, with a little encouragement and assuring help from her daddy, she was soon lost in desiring for more. At every stop at the different bay and island, she jumped into the sea boldly to explore the vast waters all by herself. She was an adventurous 6 year-old.

On a personal note, I was engrossed in the waters too. What I saw on the surface from the boat was nothing in comparison from the experience looking into the deep. Who can comprehend the artistic colours that God chose and painted the depth of the waters? The numerous species of marine life were swimming with such grace. As I snorkeled, I noticed interesting species would make their appearances from the deeper ends of the waters. When I stopped to ask negative questions like, “What IFs?" - "what if my life jacket gave way?", "what if some unpredictable disaster happened?” Such moments hinder my explorations. When I abandoned myself in the experience totally and continued to swim around with the fishes, the desire to want to see more and more increased because the experience was immensely satisfying and beyond words. Nathalynn and I were "seeking" for MORE. The excitement in us increased with every finding. Thus, we just couldn't have enough! We were lost in wanting more of the depth. I was conversing with the Maker all the time - thanking and praising him for every creature his hands had made. In a gentle voice, he spoke to my spirit..."This is seeking for me". The experience will cause you to ask for MORE. In it, you will be thrilled by my beauty, be satisfied by my work. It is an unending journey because your desire will increase with every finding; and you will be drawn with such deep longing.” My spirit was enlightened instantly as the Lord answered my nagging questions on seeking. The journey was also accompanied by his strength. Snorkeling the whole day was tiring but we wouldn’t settle for less. The desire for more drowned our tiredness as we received new strength in every location.

Perhaps some of you are in the same state, or perhaps some find seeking God such a chore, or difficult or boring. Some may be asking for more but doesn't seem to get it. Could it be the Lord is testing how much we desire in the seeking? How deep is our longing? Have we abandoned ourselves in him totally, or are we standing on the "boat" for some reasons? Could it be some of us have passed our spiritual snorkeling season? It is time for diving in the deep sea. An open dive!

"Almighty God, I acknowledge my lack of trust in seeking YOU. I need YOU to teach me in this journey of seeking. Lord, show me deep insights and incredible findings as I long for more of YOU. Give me strength to wait upon YOU. Cause such a deep longing within me that will move me to keep asking for more without giving up. I love YOU, Beautiful God. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."