Dear friends,
I am so sorry I can't publish my thoughts today and perhaps for the next few days. Time doesn't permit me to do so as I care for my children who are sick. I will be back a.s.a.p. once I can get a breather :)
Meanwhile, you have a good week!
God bless!!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
There Must Be More Than This
"Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always." (Psalm 105:4, NIV)
The word, "seek" has been in my mind for many weeks. Even the guest speaker in church last week touched on it. Have I not sought him enough? My persistent thought is, “There must be more than this!”
There are continuous debates in my mind pertaining different issues faced.
Unanswered prayers.
Unsettled spirit.
It is a nagging longing.
“Oh God, there must be more than this!”
I heard a voice whispered to my spirit, “Haven’t I showed you this before?”
Four years ago, I read Psalm 105 on the way to my family holiday in Pulau Tioman. I felt as though God was clearly telling me in such a loud voice then, "Look at me, seek me. Receive my strength".
The whole long journey I was asking the same question - "What does it mean to seek You, God?" "Am I not seeking You now?" "Teach me." That was my prayer all the time pleading God in His grace to show me the deep meaning of seeking him.
The best and most enjoyable activity we did as a family during that holiday was snorkeling. The cool amazingly beautiful sea was so inviting that even Ashlynn and Nathalynn were so captivated by the wonders of God's creation. The first four verses we read in Psalm 105 (please read) became alive. We have every reason to "sing to him, and tell of his wonderful acts". We could not stay long on the boat admiring the fishes swimming in the clear waters. The natural instinct was to just jump in and be in it. Nathalynn was very apprehensive being her first time coupled with her reserved personality. I could understand the fear. It must be real because the sea was deep and the experience was totally unknown to her. However, with a little encouragement and assuring help from her daddy, she was soon lost in desiring for more. At every stop at the different bay and island, she jumped into the sea boldly to explore the vast waters all by herself. She was an adventurous 6 year-old.
On a personal note, I was engrossed in the waters too. What I saw on the surface from the boat was nothing in comparison from the experience looking into the deep. Who can comprehend the artistic colours that God chose and painted the depth of the waters? The numerous species of marine life were swimming with such grace. As I snorkeled, I noticed interesting species would make their appearances from the deeper ends of the waters. When I stopped to ask negative questions like, “What IFs?" - "what if my life jacket gave way?", "what if some unpredictable disaster happened?” Such moments hinder my explorations. When I abandoned myself in the experience totally and continued to swim around with the fishes, the desire to want to see more and more increased because the experience was immensely satisfying and beyond words. Nathalynn and I were "seeking" for MORE. The excitement in us increased with every finding. Thus, we just couldn't have enough! We were lost in wanting more of the depth. I was conversing with the Maker all the time - thanking and praising him for every creature his hands had made. In a gentle voice, he spoke to my spirit..."This is seeking for me". The experience will cause you to ask for MORE. In it, you will be thrilled by my beauty, be satisfied by my work. It is an unending journey because your desire will increase with every finding; and you will be drawn with such deep longing.” My spirit was enlightened instantly as the Lord answered my nagging questions on seeking. The journey was also accompanied by his strength. Snorkeling the whole day was tiring but we wouldn’t settle for less. The desire for more drowned our tiredness as we received new strength in every location.
Perhaps some of you are in the same state, or perhaps some find seeking God such a chore, or difficult or boring. Some may be asking for more but doesn't seem to get it. Could it be the Lord is testing how much we desire in the seeking? How deep is our longing? Have we abandoned ourselves in him totally, or are we standing on the "boat" for some reasons? Could it be some of us have passed our spiritual snorkeling season? It is time for diving in the deep sea. An open dive!
"Almighty God, I acknowledge my lack of trust in seeking YOU. I need YOU to teach me in this journey of seeking. Lord, show me deep insights and incredible findings as I long for more of YOU. Give me strength to wait upon YOU. Cause such a deep longing within me that will move me to keep asking for more without giving up. I love YOU, Beautiful God. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."
The word, "seek" has been in my mind for many weeks. Even the guest speaker in church last week touched on it. Have I not sought him enough? My persistent thought is, “There must be more than this!”
There are continuous debates in my mind pertaining different issues faced.
Unanswered prayers.
Unsettled spirit.
It is a nagging longing.
“Oh God, there must be more than this!”
I heard a voice whispered to my spirit, “Haven’t I showed you this before?”
Four years ago, I read Psalm 105 on the way to my family holiday in Pulau Tioman. I felt as though God was clearly telling me in such a loud voice then, "Look at me, seek me. Receive my strength".
The whole long journey I was asking the same question - "What does it mean to seek You, God?" "Am I not seeking You now?" "Teach me." That was my prayer all the time pleading God in His grace to show me the deep meaning of seeking him.
The best and most enjoyable activity we did as a family during that holiday was snorkeling. The cool amazingly beautiful sea was so inviting that even Ashlynn and Nathalynn were so captivated by the wonders of God's creation. The first four verses we read in Psalm 105 (please read) became alive. We have every reason to "sing to him, and tell of his wonderful acts". We could not stay long on the boat admiring the fishes swimming in the clear waters. The natural instinct was to just jump in and be in it. Nathalynn was very apprehensive being her first time coupled with her reserved personality. I could understand the fear. It must be real because the sea was deep and the experience was totally unknown to her. However, with a little encouragement and assuring help from her daddy, she was soon lost in desiring for more. At every stop at the different bay and island, she jumped into the sea boldly to explore the vast waters all by herself. She was an adventurous 6 year-old.
On a personal note, I was engrossed in the waters too. What I saw on the surface from the boat was nothing in comparison from the experience looking into the deep. Who can comprehend the artistic colours that God chose and painted the depth of the waters? The numerous species of marine life were swimming with such grace. As I snorkeled, I noticed interesting species would make their appearances from the deeper ends of the waters. When I stopped to ask negative questions like, “What IFs?" - "what if my life jacket gave way?", "what if some unpredictable disaster happened?” Such moments hinder my explorations. When I abandoned myself in the experience totally and continued to swim around with the fishes, the desire to want to see more and more increased because the experience was immensely satisfying and beyond words. Nathalynn and I were "seeking" for MORE. The excitement in us increased with every finding. Thus, we just couldn't have enough! We were lost in wanting more of the depth. I was conversing with the Maker all the time - thanking and praising him for every creature his hands had made. In a gentle voice, he spoke to my spirit..."This is seeking for me". The experience will cause you to ask for MORE. In it, you will be thrilled by my beauty, be satisfied by my work. It is an unending journey because your desire will increase with every finding; and you will be drawn with such deep longing.” My spirit was enlightened instantly as the Lord answered my nagging questions on seeking. The journey was also accompanied by his strength. Snorkeling the whole day was tiring but we wouldn’t settle for less. The desire for more drowned our tiredness as we received new strength in every location.
Perhaps some of you are in the same state, or perhaps some find seeking God such a chore, or difficult or boring. Some may be asking for more but doesn't seem to get it. Could it be the Lord is testing how much we desire in the seeking? How deep is our longing? Have we abandoned ourselves in him totally, or are we standing on the "boat" for some reasons? Could it be some of us have passed our spiritual snorkeling season? It is time for diving in the deep sea. An open dive!
"Almighty God, I acknowledge my lack of trust in seeking YOU. I need YOU to teach me in this journey of seeking. Lord, show me deep insights and incredible findings as I long for more of YOU. Give me strength to wait upon YOU. Cause such a deep longing within me that will move me to keep asking for more without giving up. I love YOU, Beautiful God. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."
Monday, February 9, 2009
The Lover of My Soul
Chap Goh Meh/Valentine's Day Thoughts...
My mind runs through the women I have met throughout the week. Women walking in various seasons of life. Different ages. Different life passages. They are all across the spectrum. My heart beat faster as I thought and prayed for each of them...
...She sat beside him at the ICU bed. Head dived next to his. Only whispers of desperation heard. Her dying husband diagnosed with brain tumour thriving on ventilator support. They only shared two years' of marriage. She was a young bride and now a highly potential widow.
...She is caring for her terminally ill husband and raising her growing children. I could see and sense her determination to be strong for her family as we talked.
...She was widowed while pregnant with her firstborn. Her husband died in a motor vehicle accident. Now the child is 2. Today, another burden is added on her shoulder. She cares for her aging mum diagnosed with cancer, dressing her wound daily.
...She dripped the eye-drops into her husband's operated eye for cataract. The brief exchange of look and touch of this 2 hourly routine speaks of their committed love over four decades.
...She is happily married. Awaiting her firstborn's arrival. Anticipating the joy of motherhood. Her husband adores her.
...She is elated. She just sealed the deal. The ring is on her finger. He proposed!
...She is ready. Seeking for a life partner. Wondering when she will meet the God-sent guy. Perhaps the man isn't ready, we joked!
...They are supposedly in the normal rhythm. Many young mums desiring to give their best to raise the young.Some pursuing their dreams as they stepped into the working force. One ready for baptism. The other searching for answers of who God is. My preteens maturing in feminity. My kindergarthener with endless questions.
As my prayers go forth for these girls and women of my life, the reservoir of my heart ruptured with a gush of tears. This world is screaming for purpose and compassion.
Overwhelming for a week's encounter.
As the Lunar New Year comes to the end of its fifteen day's celebration, I am reminded of the classic teaser of urging young maidens to throw mandarin oranges into the sea. The Chinese saying, "tim kam chua hoe ang" (throw mandarin oranges to marry good husband) always make us giggle and poke fun at each other. Many of us always think its a foolish thing to do. Definitely more worthwhile to throw oranges into our mouths to quench our thirst, and satisfy our tastebuds! Of course, it was a good excuse for young maidens to go out in the old era. But, for modern urban girls, we absolutely don't need Chap Goh Meh to be an excuse to go out anymore.
Having said that, every human heart still longs for intimate love. All girls desire to marry a good husband though not by throwing juicy fruit into the sea. What a futile effort! As we close the Lunar New Year, another special day will hit the commercial world. The demand of flowers and all sorts of lovely gifts call for the attention of lovers. Valentine's Day is just five days away. Perhaps the economic downturn will affect the celebration this year in a certain degree. Nevertheless, there will still be some trumpeting of the "love is in the air" note.
The Bible is filled with pages of love notes from the Eternal Lover to each of us. We, the female gender shares one common need - a deep emotional intimacy.
From the youngest child to the golden age...
From the happy to the hurting...
no one loves us more than he who lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13). No greater love than this!
His love is more delightful than wine (Song of Songs 1:2). Wine is a symbol of celebration. Wine has healing properties. God's love is far greater than this!! Yes, we need to celebrate Him. He rejoices with us in good days. Yet, His love heals and soothes the pain of the harsh weather of life. Women - young and old...we need to find our way into the bridal chamber and experience divine romance with our Lord, the Lover of our Soul. Our security. Our song. Our salvation. Let us take delight, adore and long after him - "Take me away with you - let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers." (Song of Songs 1:4)
Throughout the ages, his invitation is, "Come!" The delightful longing and adoring affection displayed by the maiden in Song of Songs and the hastening call in Rev.22:17 of the bride give an imagery of that deep longing. The Divine Groom is ever ready and awaiting for each of us. Will you come...into the bridal chamber?
My mind runs through the women I have met throughout the week. Women walking in various seasons of life. Different ages. Different life passages. They are all across the spectrum. My heart beat faster as I thought and prayed for each of them...
...She sat beside him at the ICU bed. Head dived next to his. Only whispers of desperation heard. Her dying husband diagnosed with brain tumour thriving on ventilator support. They only shared two years' of marriage. She was a young bride and now a highly potential widow.
...She is caring for her terminally ill husband and raising her growing children. I could see and sense her determination to be strong for her family as we talked.
...She was widowed while pregnant with her firstborn. Her husband died in a motor vehicle accident. Now the child is 2. Today, another burden is added on her shoulder. She cares for her aging mum diagnosed with cancer, dressing her wound daily.
...She dripped the eye-drops into her husband's operated eye for cataract. The brief exchange of look and touch of this 2 hourly routine speaks of their committed love over four decades.
...She is happily married. Awaiting her firstborn's arrival. Anticipating the joy of motherhood. Her husband adores her.
...She is elated. She just sealed the deal. The ring is on her finger. He proposed!
...She is ready. Seeking for a life partner. Wondering when she will meet the God-sent guy. Perhaps the man isn't ready, we joked!
...They are supposedly in the normal rhythm. Many young mums desiring to give their best to raise the young.Some pursuing their dreams as they stepped into the working force. One ready for baptism. The other searching for answers of who God is. My preteens maturing in feminity. My kindergarthener with endless questions.
As my prayers go forth for these girls and women of my life, the reservoir of my heart ruptured with a gush of tears. This world is screaming for purpose and compassion.
Overwhelming for a week's encounter.
As the Lunar New Year comes to the end of its fifteen day's celebration, I am reminded of the classic teaser of urging young maidens to throw mandarin oranges into the sea. The Chinese saying, "tim kam chua hoe ang" (throw mandarin oranges to marry good husband) always make us giggle and poke fun at each other. Many of us always think its a foolish thing to do. Definitely more worthwhile to throw oranges into our mouths to quench our thirst, and satisfy our tastebuds! Of course, it was a good excuse for young maidens to go out in the old era. But, for modern urban girls, we absolutely don't need Chap Goh Meh to be an excuse to go out anymore.
Having said that, every human heart still longs for intimate love. All girls desire to marry a good husband though not by throwing juicy fruit into the sea. What a futile effort! As we close the Lunar New Year, another special day will hit the commercial world. The demand of flowers and all sorts of lovely gifts call for the attention of lovers. Valentine's Day is just five days away. Perhaps the economic downturn will affect the celebration this year in a certain degree. Nevertheless, there will still be some trumpeting of the "love is in the air" note.
The Bible is filled with pages of love notes from the Eternal Lover to each of us. We, the female gender shares one common need - a deep emotional intimacy.
From the youngest child to the golden age...
From the happy to the hurting...
no one loves us more than he who lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13). No greater love than this!
His love is more delightful than wine (Song of Songs 1:2). Wine is a symbol of celebration. Wine has healing properties. God's love is far greater than this!! Yes, we need to celebrate Him. He rejoices with us in good days. Yet, His love heals and soothes the pain of the harsh weather of life. Women - young and old...we need to find our way into the bridal chamber and experience divine romance with our Lord, the Lover of our Soul. Our security. Our song. Our salvation. Let us take delight, adore and long after him - "Take me away with you - let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers." (Song of Songs 1:4)
Throughout the ages, his invitation is, "Come!" The delightful longing and adoring affection displayed by the maiden in Song of Songs and the hastening call in Rev.22:17 of the bride give an imagery of that deep longing. The Divine Groom is ever ready and awaiting for each of us. Will you come...into the bridal chamber?
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